respectsexwork

Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human

Employment

I looked for a job for 7 years after high school.  I always considered sex work but had this idea that this was the the lowest anyone could go.  I had been told my whole life that you only did sex work if you were desperate, and only if you had no self respect.

Then of course you watch movies like ‘Pretty Woman” that don’t actually show the sex side of things, but romanticize the idea of someone being taken away from the sex work life and taken by a rich man so she never has to do sex work again.  Well I admit I love that movie.  My favorite part of that movie is when Richard Gere punches his friend who is trying to assault Julia Roberts.  Does that make me a bad feminist?  I love the night in shining armor bullshit.  I think a lot of that goes back to being a child and fantasizing through abuse that someone would run in, throw this person off of me, and take me home to live with them and love me.  Although I think it’s a common fantasy, otherwise they wouldn’t have made this movie.  I also love the movie Striptease.  When I got older I loved going to strip clubs.  But through all of this I always thought I was dirty, wrong, evil.  I thought that enjoying sex made me evil and therefor I would feel very sad and depressed after every orgasm or other sexual encounter.

I love being who I am now because I can openly and freely admit to myself and to everyone else that I fucking love strippers, dancers, sex workers, sex work, fucking, orgasms, being fingered, being fucked from behind, etc.  I love that I can finally feel happy after an orgasm. Instead of falling back in shame, I can fall back in satisfaction.  

Back to searching for jobs.  Let’s just say over a 7 year period I had a series of only 3 jobs, and none of them lasted longer than 3 months.  I am qualified to do many things and I am good and dedicated at what I do, but the job market has been sour long before the media even began to notice.  

When I first started having sex for money, I felt bad about it.  I won’t lie, I thought I was a bad person and I thought I had hit rock bottom exactly because I was having sex for money.  I felt this way for a long time, felt guilty for loving sex, felt guilty for having sex, or even thinking about it.  I didn’t begin to realize how wrong I was until I met some sex positive sex workers.  Once I started to realize that it was ok, and even healthy, to enjoy sex and to have sex, I began growing positively through my work.  The sex I had started to help change me. It was amazing how quickly I started to realize myself through sex.  It wasn’t all work of course, a lot of this was personal sex, but the work is was allowed me to find myself.  The sex work was where I met these sex positive women.  They changed my life.  And I was allowed to fucking love myself and I mean FUCKING LOVE MYSELF!  I was allowed to channel my sensual side and that was an amazing thing for me.  I have never been happier since I finally allowed myself to love the sexual, sensual side of myself.  I have never been healthier and to be honest I have never been a better person since I allowed myself to embrace my sexuality.  

I may be doing a job that I thought was rock bottom a long time ago, but I realize now, it’s just a job.  This is a job I enjoy.  Everyone should be so lucky. And to me, it’s more than a job, but to the world, this should just be work.  Sex is a thing we all need, a thing we all want, and a thing that we really shouldn’t be ashamed of because it’s healthy and natural and it’s fun.

I love my job.

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One comment on “Employment

  1. Rob
    February 17, 2013

    I am pleased that you found yourself and that you’re not ashamed of what you do.
    Many men profoundly resent the sexual hold that women have over them whilst denying it to themselves. They don’t possess your talent for self-analysis and honesty. Keep yourself safe.

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This entry was posted on February 17, 2013 by and tagged , , .

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