Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human

Prejudice, words

I have never been hateful towards people I saw as different, but I also was never normalizing those people, or trying hard enough to do so.

I want to state at this moment, and I want to be completely open about my thoughts because I believe that’s the only way to grow.  Usually I know when they are “wrong” or at least know when they feel wrong.  I hope that if I do something that is wrong and don’t realize it, that somehow I will realize it or be made aware of it (nicely – I’m pretty sensitive but I know sometimes reality is harsh).

So my point of that is that I want to help others normalize these things as well.  I want to feel comfortable talking about things because I understand them better, rather than avoiding them because I’m afraid I will look stupid.

I am not trans*.  I do not identify as a woman as such, I identify as a woman sometimes but usually it’s just not a thing for me.  And I don’t mean that to belittle people who have very strong gender identities but I really don’t.  I love being a woman because I love my human body, but I think if I were a man I would love being a man because of my human body.  Does that make sense?  Or am I just going in circles here.  I hope not.

So I wanted to say I’m not trans* because that’s what I wanted to talk about.  I don’t feel prejudiced, and I am not as far as I can tell, but I am so terrible at keeping the gender pronouns correct that sometimes I feel like it is a prejudice that I just can’t gasp.  I’m working on it, and I’m practicing and doing better every day, but the matter of the fact is that it shouldn’t be difficult.  I think it’s probably difficult if you know someone as a woman and then they are a man, to immediately start saying ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ but that’s more habit than, and hopefully not prejudice.  But for me, I accidentally say he, sometimes when referring to women because my head is doing something stupid and making that person a man in my head.  Which I should say again, I feel terrible about.  I really only realized this the other day when I used the wrong word three times in a row and then was hitting myself in the head feeling like such an asshole.  Why did I make that mistake three times in a row?!  I was furious at myself.  The truth is, I need more practice, but my point here is, why do I do this?  Why do I have this in me when I don’t have this prejudice that I know of, yet seem to be making this mistake which must come from somewhere.

I’m sorry to pick on trans* people with this.  I just wanted to be honest about it.  Still working on it.

I do hope one day that our society teaches us to respect others enough that this isn’t such a struggle for future generations of people like me.  I hope that when my child is grown, that they won’t have as many hang ups with language and such that I did/do.

3 comments on “Prejudice, words

  1. Professor Taboo
    February 20, 2013

    Wonderful humble honesty RSW. I don’t see your struggle with verbiage as prejudice; merely a “rewiring” from a binary social-system with a limited vocabulary, to a more comprehensive poly social-system with a new vast vocabulary. Whether advocates (bigots?) of an ancient binary social-system, i.e. puritans, like it or not, this planet is evolving into a HUMAN culture of Earthlings (hetero’s, LGBT’s, inter-sexed, et al) and leaving the dying “tunnel-vision” social systems. Nature (and its infinite change) is oblivious to these type of human perceived morals and ethics, and will move along with us or without us. I applaud you for being so nicely adaptable! You will be just fine if you keep your honest humility. 🙂

  2. bigbuttbitch
    February 23, 2013

    You have been nominated for the beautiful blogger award. 🙂

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This entry was posted on February 17, 2013 by and tagged , , , .

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