Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human

Hi. I’ve been raped.

Think about this.  I’m a sex worker.  I’ve been raped.  Does that bring you to laughter?  Is it funny that I was raped when I wasn’t a sex worker?  Or is it funnier when I was raped as a sex worker?  Do you like raping people because what they do is illegal?  Like migrant farm workers or sex workers?  Is it funny because they are….I’m just not sure what’s funny about it.  

I know, people are going to be like “get a sense of humor” or “why do you have to take everything so seriously.”  Yeah and they are going to laugh at me for being pissed off.  Just like they’d laugh at someone being raped apparently.  

I actually have a pretty good sense of humor but that might actually be why I don’t think rape jokes or specifically raping sex workers, is funny.  Because I do actually have a good sense of humor.  But you know what makes me so angry?  That I got more shit for saying that a rape joke was wrong, than the person who made a rape joke. 

Why do women get raped so much and so often?  Because of those priorities that say that me pointing out a rape joke is more inappropriate than a rape joke.

4 comments on “Hi. I’ve been raped.

  1. lovetimesinfinity
    July 21, 2013

    I’m so sorry someone was joking like this around you, and that they reacted negatively when you tried to point out the wrongness of their joke. I don’t see anything funny in anything you’ve mentioned, but you’re right: when we present these scenarios in day-to-day conversation as potentially humorous, we allow people to think lightly of it, and that’s not right.

  2. saschakonietzko
    July 21, 2013

    oh, but it’s okay, because he said he’d call 911. how gracious, right? what a bloody asswipe. I wish more people had the guts to call people out on such things, to stand for victims rather than protect the aggressors. it takes guts, because with how rape culture is right now, calling out such jokes is instantly jumped on… but what you’re doing is far more productive than those who comment back with rape threats. they’re just painting themselves as ignorant, perpetuating that same rape culture that causes these problems. hopefully, one day, they’ll look back on it and feel a bone deep shame. thank you for writing this, and thank you for having the strength to call these assholes out, even though it’s hard to deal with the vitriol that results in.

  3. Omay Farlane
    July 22, 2013

    I think rape jokes are put in the offensive content category. No woman, no matter what’s the background or it’s roots deserves to be raped. I never thought men were so pussies to instead of meeting a woman the right way, they just want to ruin their lives and get away with it, by taking away their self worth, their dignity and their self-esteem. Unless they’re in our shoes, they wouldn’t learn the damage it cause.

  4. oliveseraphim
    July 22, 2013

    I’m so sorry this happened to you, this is a very brave post. I was raped on the job as well, and people still think making jokes like the “is it rape or theft?” shit is funny. Where I am sex work isn’t illegal, or at least what I was doing wasn’t illegal, but of course it’s hard enough to get a prosecution for sexual assault anyway without the added stigma of being a sex worker, especially if you were raped at work so I didn’t press charges. Life is hard enough. Anyway, thank for sharing, and I hope this post makes people wake up to themselves and realize that what they see as ‘humour’ is actually incredibly harmful. Really, the kind of men who laugh at rape jokes are the kind of men who would commit crimes of sexual violence, or at least excuse them when they happen. Humour says a lot about people’s attitudes.

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