Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human
Do you know what happens when you report a rape? I’ll tell you my story. Since that’s the one I know best. This is a very short and edited version of this event.
When I was 16, a man broke into my room (I lived in a shared house with 23 other people – sort of like a dorm) and raped me. I reported it to the police. This in and of itself was very difficult to do.
A purple car was parked outside of my house one day. As I walked up to my door a woman stepped out and started to walk towards me in that way that sort of automatically makes you think they are either a cop, or they are going to attack you in some way. A very forceful and intimidating walk. She told me who she was. A sheriff. I’m not going to talk about what was said, that’s not really the point. She was pretty invasive, demanding and cold throughout the interview. I felt like I’d done something wrong by the time she left. Like it was all my fault.
Then they called the man who raped me, and told him that I accused him of rape. That’s it on the police end of things. That is literally all they did. Get a statement from me and then tell the rapist that I’d told the police he raped me. So you can imagine he was angry, and he broke into my bedroom and raped me again.
He probably has raped other women, I don’t see why he would just stop at me. Pretty sure reporting it to the police did fuck all. Even if rapists do ever go to trial, there’s not a greatly successful conviction rate, and even when they are convicted, it’s not usually much of a sentence.
My point isn’t to say that people shouldn’t report being raped. I hope that people get that this is a fucking problem with the police though. They don’t test rape kits. Rape kits are pretty invasive and sometimes carried out by people who are not at all sensitive to the situation. If you are going to go through the trauma of reporting a rape, and yes it is very traumatic to do this, then they better fucking back you the fuck up. They had better go after these fuckers full force. But they don’t. Because rape is still not seen as a violent crime, but as sexual violence (and yes these are different things to a lot of people). Sexual violence can often be blamed on the victim, whereas random violence without the sex word attached, not so much. That’s what I’ve experienced anyhow.
So yes. I do regret reporting that to the police. It made my situation worse, the reporting itself was a traumatizing experience, and at the end of it I have nothing to show for it but a second rape from the person who did it the first time and some severe ptsd. Imagine though if I was arrested because I didn’t want to report the second rape.