respectsexwork

Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human

Feminists talking about how gross women are…”

…who are sex workers.  Feminism isn’t about putting down other women.  Just FYI for those fucking assholes out there saying shit like “don’t say “whore” but that bitch is a whore and sex workers are all sluts, but don’t use the word “slut” towards us non-sex workers.”  Obviously that’s not a direct quote.  That’s me reading into some “ews” and “gross”es a bit.  I would link to what I’m referencing here but really it’s either clear or it’s vague and it’s true for a lot of people so it doesn’t need to be specific.  

Generally if you want to make the point that women are good, patriarchy is bad, and all of that nice stuff, you don’t go around saying what women do is “gross” or “bad” or literally talking down to us, because we are sex workers.  Or being sarcastic about our work.  Do you know what I’m saying here?  Saying, Sex “Work”, or Sex Work*   *misogyny.  Or otherwise generally sarcastically denying our agency, basically you are being sexist.  Oh shit, did you forget that I’m a fucking person too while trying to save me?  Because you clearly fucking did.  

I am specifically talking about people “ew”ing and such, at a chart about how much sex workers (on average) charge for certain services.  “Oh ew they charge differently for butt sex?!”.  Yeah, that sort of thing.  Hmmmm…..who else charges differently for different services….except maybe every single service industry worker ever.  I know, sex is gross and such, but maybe if you don’t want it, don’t worry about it.  You don’t have to pay for sex from me, or any of my sex worker friends.

I don’t want to be in a fight with anyone.  I hate being in fights.  I hate being yelled at even by assholes, I find it difficult to deal with emotionally.  You might call me a wimp or whatever you want but yeah, I can’t handle emotional abuse.  However I also can’t just sit back watching this bullshit and pretend like it’s ok.  

Shit, I’m sorry that sex workers are some sort of issue that you have to deal with.  Apparently this is a really big problem for you; our jobs and our lives are really gross and you have to make sure that we know how much saving we need because we are just so unaware.  I’m also sorry that sex seems to be such a huge fucking issue, our sex not yours, that you have to be grossed out by people doing it.  I mean seriously, if people paying more for different sexual services bothers you…well actually don’t think about it.  I don’t want you thinking about my sexual services if you are going to think about it with your goggles of bullshit.  I’d rather you just not even worry how much I charge for my services. 

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4 comments on “Feminists talking about how gross women are…”

  1. Steersman
    August 17, 2014

    Sorry to see you, and other sexworkers, get such a hard time from your “sisters”. I really kind of hate to see that, and the stigma that is attached to the profession – both to the providers, and to the clients, the “johns”, of which I am one.

    And while the psychology behind that stigma is rather obscure – at least to me, part of it seems to stem from, as the old joke has it, the perception that “gawd” designed humans with the playground right next to the disposal systems. Rather difficult to overcome that bias when so few seem willing to confront that fact, much less discuss its ramifications.

    Hang in there kiddo 🙂

  2. writingthebody
    August 17, 2014

    Sorry to see you go through all that. You can charge whatever you like of course…it is funny how people think they can preach about such things. You sound really upset….take care – some of us love you, and need you too!

  3. ♀ Paradise Kendra ♀
    August 17, 2014

    Not this feminist. This feminist is so proud and impressed that you’ve created this blog and has no understanding of women (or men) who claim the word “feminist” and yet hang onto puritanical ideologies of sex – all the while claiming to be so sexually liberated.

    They try to make “excuses” for prostitution and sex work as if to “justify” it. The repetitive “ohh poor damaged woman that needs to be rescued from her life situation” image in the end doesn’t liberate women or sexuality, it just barely decriminalizes it. Some women (and men) actually feel empowered or like they’re helping people.

    The goddesses Aphrodite, Aidin, Flora, Ishtar, Venus, Rati, and so many more were ones that were never ever thought of as “workers”, “whores”, or even more positive words like escorts. These were goddesses who’s sexual passion was a gift and a power.

    People needed them who were in need of love, comfort, and yes, sex. People *still* do. Why this is so taboo I have no idea.

    Hopefully we’ll get to a place where we’ll understand that as an occupation, why shouldn’t a “sex worker” or whatever title is preferred, have their job situations as enjoyable and any other job?

    Everyone does their job better, no matter what the occupation, if they’re in the best circumstances and state of mind possible. Why should sex work be any different?

    Pardon the length of the post!

    Thrive! xoxo

  4. Omay Farlane
    August 18, 2014

    How hypocrite feminists are specially when they don’t want to be called slut for a good reason, and all of the sudden they do “slut walks” in their own towns to make a point they’re “don’t.” Or either they’re whores because of sleeping with strangers or they’re respectable women, you can’t be in the middle.

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