Personal and Professional Stories of A Working Human
I am almost done with my degree, which is fantastic. I will probably still be doing cam and phone sex for a while until I find a job, but I have to admit, this is a huge deal for me. I worked my ass off to get through this degree, after years of all the shit I’ve been through, depression, abuse, mental breakdowns caused by being stalked and having my life threatened, and I thought I would never recover from that shit. It’s still here, the pain, it’s still in me but I can manage it now and I’m finally almost done.
I’m sure I’ve posted about this before but ideally I’d love to do both. My degree, in an area I am so passionate about, and sex work, which I’m also so passionate about. It feels good to be able to showcase my sexual side after hiding it for so long. Obviously I worry about getting jobs, I get nervous because I want to be honest, but I also want the job. So, do I up front say, hey I’ve done some porn and phone sex? Probably not. I think our society isn’t at that point yet. I don’t know if anyone would recognize me 10 years later, from movies I may have been a part of when I was younger, but there is always that side of things as well. It would be amazing to find a company that was actually fine with that. I’ll look, but I’m not going to put all my eggs in that basket.
I love all of you my sex worker friends, and allies, and everyone who’s helped me through my rough patches (there will be more, just as life is) and I hope I’ve helped people too but it’s hard to admit that. I feel like if I’m proud of myself for anything that I’m being cocky. Well, that’s a kyriarchy thing, I’m trying to work on it. Trying to be able to do things, and take thanks for them, without feeling like I don’t deserve it.
Off to do some studying for finals and such. Then off to be the amazing parent that I am. Hopefully sleep will be allowed tonight, I’m feeling ragged.